Monday, 4 May 2009

Quick Update....

WOW!!  Not been on here for a while....

What has happened since I last visited & wrote on this thing??????

Well, to be honest, there is only one thing.  One POSITIVE thing, that has happened/developed or changed since I last saw this website.... and that's my relationship with my boyfriend.
It is going from strength to strength and I could not be happier!!!!!!

I can honestly say, hand on heart that he is the best thing to EVER happen to me!!!!

There are lots more I could write, but that is private between the two of us.

So, for now, that's it.

The only other thing I can say is that I cannot wait to see him again, to be with him, to lay in his arms and believe that we are the only two people in existence.

See you soon baby!!

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Missing you so......

Is missing her new boyfriend sooo much it hurts....


Have just decided to take a break from paperwork in the office.

Still cant believe I ranted like that last night!! I wasn't even that drunk so blaming it on alcohol is a lame excuse.
I guess I just didnt realise how much steam I had to let off until I started to?!?!?

Ah well. Again, appologies to anyone who actually bothers to read it. Now I know why I keep things to myself most of the time.
OK - going to stop now, this appology is starting to sound pathetic......

Wednesday, 18 March 2009


I just read the blog I just posted!!!

Oh shit!!

I really have to read things through first and engage my brain once in a while!!
Now I know why it takes me ages to make a decision - because when I dont I do something like what I have just done!!! (One way to sober up)


Ah, well. Blogs are suppose to be spontanious and about real life, aren't they?!?!?!
Well my previous blog was certainly that!!

Appologise everyone!!

Jennie xx

My Life At Present!!

OOO!! Where to start.....

Well for starters I am rather drunk, so I may say/type one or two things I shouldn't or spell worse than my friends 3 year old!! But that's why God invented the spellchecker, right?

This is definately a "VENT YOUR ANGER" blog!!!!!!

Well, to start I am in a job that yes, I love, but feel rather unappreciated. I am contantly fighting a loosing battle with my work load and if I put ANY more hours in, then my joke about hiding a sleeping bag under one of my desks will no-longer be a joke!! And when it is all at £6.00 an hour (that is NOT a typo) you feel even more like a doormat sometimes.
But I do enjoy it and I am very thankful and grateful that the majority of the patients are very nice, understanding and appreciative of mine and my teams' hard work.

I am also waiting for my 'never-ending' divorce to be finalised!!! If my soon-to-be ex-husband drags things out any longer, we will BOTH be collecting our pensions!!! For those of you who know me and 'him', you will find that slightly amusing!! (For those of you who dont - he's over 10 years older than me!)
Still, as far as I am concerned, he is no longer in my life and has not been since I left him over a year ago. I just have memories, which I am thankful to say fade away alittle bit more every day!! I just have to deal with my solicitor and the odd trip to the Courts when 'he' decides not to play ball!
God I was scared to death the first time I had to go back to Court to see him!! The 2 days leading up to the Court date I could not sleep at all - God knows how I did not look like death on that day?!? Just the thought of having to be in his presence made me shake and shudder so much you would have thought I was in the Antartic. All of the negative memories - and there are alot - started to come back and hit me in waves! I was such a wreck!! Luckily for me my parents were there and I had had plenty of well-wishes from my friends which gave me enormous strength!
The second time was alot better. By the time the proceedings were over, I actually started to feel a tad of confidence in myself, and I could look at him in the face for the first time since I walked out my old front door. Do you know what I saw?? Nothing. No one. Just a man. A scruffy, thin, disheveled old man - what had I been so scared of?? Well, thinking about it, I know exactly what, but during that moment, I could look right at him and see through him and he couldn't look back at me because he knows what he did to me, exactly what he did to me!!

I have also 'come out of my shell' some what - understatment of the decade?!?!?!

I can listen to the music I like without an earbashing, go to concerts and gigs, hang out with my friends and just be me - Jennie - it is such an overwhelming feeling of releaf to be able to be you without predidice or judgment. Especially from the one that is suppose love you for who you are regardless... but I digress... and believe it or not this rant has done me the world of good!!
I feel a hell of alot better than I did 30 mins ago.....

Oh! And my new boyfriend has just texted me!!
This might be a forward or bold move/statement - but he's the greatest! Yes Ben I am talking about you incase you ever read this!! God I have gone red now with toe-curling embarrisment!! HA! HA!

Well, its rather late and I think I have embarrised myself enough for one evening!!!

Two things:

First: Live life for the moment; Don't let life pass you by; make the most of every opportunity!

Second: Shit happens to everyone at some point in their life. But its how you deal with it that defines you as a person.

Highly-Enbarrising rant over!!! Going to hit publish before my brain-cell tells me to actually read this back at least once!! xxx


Evening Everyone!!

This is my first ever blog - I have just created this account and I have no idea what I an doing, so forgive me!!
This is just a tester to make sure it works!!